Wedding Infatuated

Weddings are often the epitome of decadence. Each year billions of dollars are spent to create single day events that are weddings. While it’s true that your wedding day is your special day, it doesn’t mean that you can’t do something for others as well. There are many ways to donate to charities and help improve your wedding as well.  

www.thehungersite.org is a great start. Here you can shop for a cause. Look for bridal jewelry, wedding party gifts, out-of-town wedding guest gifts, wedding favors and even some decor items. The prices resonable and in line with what you would normally spend but each purchase helps feed a family, buy a mammogram, vaccinate a child, save the rainforest, feed a shelter animal or improve literacy rates. Before you buy anything, I suggest checking www.thehungersite.org first.                                

Another thing you can do is to register at: www.justgive.org. This is a great option for those people who already have everything they need; people who feel like gifts may be more of a burden than a blessing. Through this website you can register for guests to donate to the charity of your choice. It’s the best way to send a large amount of money directly towards your cause.

Lastly, donate any left over wedding supplies (the dresses, extra favors, silk flowers, etc.) to charities or thrift stores. Every one wants to have a beautiful wedding day. If you allow low income people to purchase your un-used or slightly used goods you can really help brighten someone’s event.

Just because it is your wedding, it does not mean you need to stop donating to save money. Make every dollar count.

When someone dies within a year or two of your wedding day, the impact can be felt. Weddings are already highly emotional occasions and it’s not uncommon to think about those who we’ve recently lost at this time. When someone very important to the couple dies, it can be a good sentiment to still include that special person in your special day.

One great way to do this is through the music. My grandfather’s favorite song was Ave Maria. Songs like this make for great processional music. You can note the song’s importance in your program. You can also include a little snippet about the person to help everyone understand how integral this person was in your lives. If your loved one’s taste in music was less than appropriate for the ceremony, carry it over to the reception. Make an announcement that you will be dancing with your father to your mother’s favorite song, or whatever the case may be. 

Another way to remember your loved one is through images. You can display a few pictures of the couple with the person you wish to remember surrounding your guest book or gift table. You can also incorporate photos of this person in a slide show if you choose to add that to your reception.

Whatever you choose to do to remember your friend or family member just realize that it will likely be very touching and emotional. There is a psychological effect as well, however. Honoring a person on your big day lets everyone know how important this person was and it can help you let go and move on. If there is someone who was once in your life that regrettably cannot attend your wedding, please don’t leave them out of your wedding.

For some reason weddings can really bring out the worst in people. I read again and again, “My mother in law to be is….”, “I’m not inviting my cousin to the wedding because she…” Disagreements and fights are common during this time but they are not necessary.

Most disagreements I see stem from two basic sources, the stressed out bride and the event of combining two unique families. While you cannot mediate all disagreements that occur between other family members, there are ways to reduce the fights that you yourself may fall victim to.

It’s natural and common to be highly stressed out when you’re planning your wedding. At any given time you have a thousand things running through your mind. You are likely to snap at friends and family for every misstep. You’ll find that most of your acquaintances will be understanding and helpful, however, occasionally you will find someone who would rather argue. You don’t want to remember your big day as a big fight with your sister do you? If at all possible, try to walk away and avoid this instigator until you are completely over the problem.

Another common reason people fight is guest list related problems. Sally, your best friend in college, is fuming that she did not get invited. What she does not realize is that she’s rather loud and embarrassing. If you don’t have the space or budget explain to any left out guests your situation. If you feel it is necessary, there are even cards you can send to uninvited friends to help explain that it is an intimate wedding with a immediate family only. In this situation people understand. If, however, you are concerned that certain people will embarrass you at your wedding, here’s my rule of thumb; if they’re family that your family would like to see at the event and you have the space, invite them. You don’t want a family falling out all over your special day. If they start to act up during your wedding just remember that those are the moments you look back on and laugh about. Friends and other family should be invited at your discretion.

The last type of argument you may get wrapped up in is an argument with a vendor. The florist provided petunias when you specified peonies, the cake is the wrong flavor, the dress still doesn’t fit right after three alterations. In this situation I suggest having a spokesperson. You are likely going to be very emotional when something goes wrong this means you are not likely the best person to handle this situation. Designate someone, Maids of Honor are great for this, who knows your every wish to deal with vendors. Have someone else negotiate discounts and refunds for poor service. Let anyone who’s willing help you to make things right again.

The last thing a bride-to-be needs is the added stress of fighting and bickering. If you remain aware of the potential sources of argument, there is a chance that you can avoid them.

Flowers can eat a large portion of your budget; however, there are some ways to cut that cost. I suggest focusing more on the color and overall look of each arrangement. Obsessing about each bloom is futile. Roses, for example, come in a very large assortment of colors. They are also typically much less expensive than a lily, orchid, or most other flowers. While you may not feel that a rose is as distinguished as these costlier blooms, the overall look of a bouquet of roses can be quite elegant. You can also get a very modern look with some of the brighter colors available. Using bright pink roses and green mums makes for a high visual impact and a low cost. Tightly grouped pink and orange roses is also inexpensive and very attractive. Roses also work very well, year-round. For autumn you can find rich golden colors, in the winter, shades so dark they are nearly black. Roses are hardy and always in supply. 

Another simple way to cut costs is to utilize attractive filler flowers. Chrysanthemums, pom pom mums, daisies and orange blossoms are all good choices. These fillers, for the most part, also come in a wide variety of color to fit any situation. You can also incorporate a few silk flowers into arrangements or make the larger alter arrangements of all silk flowers. These arrangements will not be seen from a close distance so you can “cheat” a little. Also, don’t forget that any flower that is in season will be less expensive than something out of season. Keep all these things in mind when discussing plans with your florist.

The biggest thing you can do to cut the costs of flowers is also the boldest choice, do your own. There are many websites that allow you to buy flowers wholesale for a fraction of the cost that the florist will charge you. If you do choose this option, however, please ensure that you have sufficient refrigeration (could be a cool garage or walk-in refrigeration system) and take the time to research some techniques. It is not an easy task to take on but if you are somewhat artistic, go for it. To practice, invest in a few batches of loose flowers from a local supermarket. Assemble a few bouquets and take pictures of anything you like. Even if you don’t make all of your floral arrangements, you can still cut the costs of a few.

While it may be hard to believe, most people are not natural born dancers. As a result, there is sometimes anxiety surrounding the dance aspects of a wedding reception. While you are often content swaying back and forth in a large crowd of dancing couples, this two step can seem a little less than romantic when all eyes are on you and you only. If you or yours falls into the category of “mediocre dancer”, I suggest you take the time and money to invest in lessons.     

There are several options here. The most common method is for people to attend private lessons with a local dance teacher. Whether you want to learn the tango or East Coast swing, there is likely a teacher in your area who can help you out. This is often an expensive route but the one on one attention can mold you into a few fairly good dancers after only a few sessions. I think this option is the best for couples who are low on time or easily embarrassed by the learning process.

Another option is to sign up for an adult dance class at a dance school. This option is often less expensive than the individual lessons and has the added benefit of meeting other couples as well as learning techniques to dance with different partners. It is common that many people want to dance with the bride and groom to give their congratulations. If you have only ever danced with your fiance’ this can sometimes be awkward. The only downside is the limited flexibility. You cannot often request to go over certain aspects you are simply not understanding and you cannot move more quickly than your class. This option works well for couples who don’t have as much to invest in lessons or those couples who enjoy the social opportunities.

Lastly, don’t forget to check out your local colleges. For four months worth of lessons you can often pay the equivalent of one month at a dance school with comparable results. If you elect to “audit” the course, you do not receive a grade for your work and you, therefore, don’t actually need to apply for admission. If you are already taking a full course load at a college, take advantage of this situation. You have to take a physical education credit anyway, so you might as well use that graduation requirement to help you look fantastic on your big day.

You’ll find that planning a wedding can eat up a lot of your time. It’s important to continue enhancing your relationship during this stressful time. Dance lessons act as a great couples activity and can help you to forget about the stresses in life for an hour or two a week. Take the lessons, you’ll be glad you did.

While by and large weddings make for one expensive day, there are a few ways to pinch a penny or two. Hair and attire can cost thousands if you go all out. The ironic thing is, whether you spent a couple thousand dollars or a few hundred, the result is no different.                                                                                                                                                                                      

The Dress                                                   

Every bride wants to look beautiful on her special day. One of the first things any engaged gal does is to shop for her wedding dress. While a dress can cost upwards of $25,000 it’s certainly not necessary to spend anywhere near that. I suggest hopping into any local bridal shop and do a fitting just to decide what cut you like and what dress size you are. Remember that wedding dress sizes are quite different from standard dress sizes. After a fitting be sure to inquire about any upcoming sales. Bridal shops will often liquidate their inventory to make room for new designs. 

If you are a little bit of a gambler, want a much greater savings or simply strike out at the bridal shop, try online bidding sites. This idea is crazy to some but it is not uncommon to locate a new dress, used as display, for around $100. My own wedding dress was snagged for $125 after shipping on such a site. The result: an extra $3000 in the bank and a strikingly gorgeous ensemble.

Accesories

Accesories can run up a substantial charge. I suggest making at least one prominant peice of jewelry your “something borrowed”. Any mother, grandma, sister or mother in law will be honored if you ask to wear a special peice of their jewelry. This also prevents you from buying a necklace or pair of earings. Another option is to hit up the internet again. Dress shops often mark up their accesories far beyond what is resonable for the quality. You can find veils, tiaras and gloves online with the same brands but much lower prices.

The Hair

Some women will spend a couple hundred dollars just to have their hair done for their big day. Typically, however, the designs that most brides request do not require a stylist. If you have any friends who are even slightly talented with a curling iron, supeona them. Start practicing different hairstyles at home and I assure you, you will get the same lovely look with no price tag. If it turns out your friends are flops, no harm no foul. As long as you begin practicing your look some time out, you can still snag a talented hairdresser in time to pull off the look you have envisioned.

The Groom

If you want your groom to buy his tux as a memento than power to you! If, like most couples, you choose to rent, snag a free rental. Many tux rental locations now offer one free tux rental with four or five other rentals. If your tux shop is not offering this deal, you have the wrong tux shop.  

Looking great on your big day does not need to include big bucks. You aren’t walking the red carpet. The average person will not care who you’re wearing. The only thing people notice is that you look great. Embrace the beauty, save the doe.

When planning a wedding you have a million things going through your mind. The biggest factor is often the budget. While you want to have a beautiful day, it is often the case that the pocketbooks are not bottemless. There are certainly many ways to cut costs, but photography is not that place. While a great photographer can be rather expensive, they are certainly worth their fees.

The thing about photography is that anyone with a nice camera thinks they can handle the task. You have likely had a few volunteers already and the offers are tempting I’m sure. The reality is, a wedding photographer is the only one who will get those gorgeous shots you desire.

An amateur will not know the questions to ask to get the best images. You, a non-professional bride, will not likely know what to request unless you happen to be a professional photographer. An amateur will want you to direct all the shots and you will, in return, receive about 5 pictures, of 200 or so, that you really love. A professional will give you about 60 shots of 75 that you really love and you will not have the added stress of wrangling together the masses or telling people where to stand.

Another added bonus of the professional photographer is the album itself. They will put together your album, as well as a few parents albums if you request, and you are done with it, no more worries. With an amateur you’re stuck developing your own film. You’ll end up with mostly four by six inch prints and their display will never be as nice as a professional could have made them.

Once again, cutting costs anywhere you can is a great idea, however, shop for your photographer wisely. Ensure that they have photographed a fair share of weddings and be sure to look at some other wedding photos they have taken. Examine their style and see if it matches your own. These pictures will be the only way to show future generations your wedding so they are vitally important to your family’s history. This is a day to document with style, not pennies.

In case you were unaware, I have a little secret for you, most men do not care about 90% of the wedding planning process. There, it’s out, now you know.

When I was planning my big day I could go on and on about the color theme, the cake, the guest list, the budget; my fiance’ lasted about 10 minutes. While it can be terribly frustrating, it’s also very common. I would love to dish out some brilliant ideas to make your fiance seem more interested but that just won’t happen.

Here’s what you have to remember, just because your man could give a hoot as to whether you have a raspberry ganache or cream cheese filling between the layers of the cake, it doesn’t mean that he isn’t excited to marry you. Most guys are envisioning the big picture, that picture containing you and you only, in a beautiful gown, looking like the princess he knows you are.

 That being said, still try to incorporate your fiance’ in the planning process as much as possible. You may be surprised by some of the inspired suggestions he offers up in one of his fleeting moments of interest.

The wedding season is upon us again. In like a lion out like… a mother in law. May, June and July are the most common months for weddings throughout most of the United States, Canada and the United Kingdom. This means, most of my readers are to be wed very soon. You have your venue paid for, your menu selected, the guest list is prepared, there’s not much left to do except tie that knot. You’ve hired all the right people and nothing, within your control, can really go wrong at this point. The problem is, a thousand things outside of your control can still go wrong.

Now I’m not trying to make you nervous it is just that there is one crucial thing to remember to enable you to have a great wedding day; something will go wrong, so relax.

 I remember a month or so before my own wedding, I was talking with a co-worker. Something she said has stuck in my head for some time now, “Heather, it’s those mishaps, those things that happen that aren’t perfect, that aren’t planned, that make your wedding day memorable and special.” At the time I resented her for saying it. I thought she was doubting my skills in creating a perfect wedding. The truth is, when so much perfection is expected, you’re sure to have small failures, and they’re great. She was 100% right. It is those small mishaps that I remember above everything else.

So, as your day nears, please try to relax and take joy in the fact that anything bad can, and according to Murphey’s law will, happen. Don’t waste your tears crying over lopsided cake, and if all else fails, there’s always the booze!